What We've Waited For
by Rhapsidiast
Summary: Shinichi/Ran. We've all waited for this moment to happen. Finally written out, to satisfy the burn. Conan succeeded in defeating the B.O, and was given the antidote. Why hasn't he taken it yet? What's on his mind? END OF DETECTIVE CONAN. No spoilers


"_It's all over, Kudo-kun."_

"…_Yeah…"_

"_Here."_

"…"

"_It's risky… and determines whether you'll end up as Shinichi or Conan permanently. It's the antidote for the APTX-4869."_

It was night.

Darkness enveloped the area of Beika City, and a young detective in an even younger body stared out of the window. He should feel thrilled. Thrilled that they managed to capture the largest, blackest organisation there was in Japan. Thrilled that in his right hand, he was gripping a small container containing a single pill – the antidote for the drug he had taken so long ago, the APTX-4869. But he didn't feel thrilled. No joy, no happiness, nothing. Not even when he had taken down Gin and Vodka, not when Ai Haibara handed him the antidote, not when Heiji and Professor Agasa had looked at him so expectantly, as if he was going to swallow it there and then and take all credit for the destruction of the organisation…

He did none of those.

After so many endless months enduring life as a school boy, living with his childhood friend and lying to her constantly, Edogawa Conan wondered why he was feeling so trapped inside. He would never stay inside this body, not when he had the antidote right there gripped in his right hand. But Conan couldn't find the right emotion. He always had the answers, but how was he going to explain to Ran about his disappearance, and Conan's?

The plan had always been for him to merely stick to being two different people, Conan and Shinichi. But could he honestly do that? Could he honestly continue to lie to her, and let her live that lie, and himself? Not just them both, but everyone else who knew; Professor Agasa, Heiji…

Ran… deserved the truth. After waiting this long. And Conan, no, _Shinichi_, knew that.

Conan closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before continuing to gaze into the dark sky. Stars twinkled as he gazed into the physical past, and one he was looking at disappeared from his sight. _Light travels at the speed of 12,000 Lunar orbits per Earth day. The star I was looking at earlier had given its light at a different time to when my eyes received the light. Though it still shone, the star itself would have disappeared before I had registered it…_

Logic appealed to him. It was something he always had answers for, and there was only one truth. How many times had he said that before?

Only one truth.

And the truth he was hiding…

"Conan-kun?" Ran's kind voice broke the train of his thought and he turned warily to face her, giving a fake smile. His fake smile was as much a lie as Ran's kind voice was. Not that Ran wasn't kind… she was never anything other than kind…

But Conan knew that deep inside Ran's heart, she had long ago guessed what he had been hiding from her.

Just looking at her now was enough to make him realise that. She said nothing else and continued to watch him closely, every move he made, every breath he released. But Ran had always been the stronger one. She gave him a brave smile. "It's good that I finally know what Shinichi's been up to. Now that he's done with the case, he'll come home soon, and I'm sure you'll like that. Maybe you can follow him when he goes to solve other cases as well," she said, her eyes betraying her tone.

She turned her gaze to the newspaper on top of the table. Though Conan had refused to admit any credit, Heiji insisted the police force to let everyone knew that it was high school detective Shinichi Kudo who managed to capture the Black Organisation.

"_You'd never face Ran unless I did that,"_ the detective had told him.

Conan "Mmhmed" at Ran's comment. He couldn't do this any longer. Defeating the Black Organisation made him realise just how tired he had been of the whole thing. Was Ran actually _content_ to allow him to continue with the lie? Could he tell her he was going away, and come back as Shinichi, and get away with it?

From the look in Ran's eyes, Conan knew his answer: Yes, yes he could. He would get more.

"Conan-kun…?" Ran's tone made him look up at her again. She smiled. She said nothing else, and left the room.

* * *

Throughout that night, Conan stayed in the living room. He kept the window open, allowing the very cold air to enter the room and chill him to the bone. She knew. He had to take strength from that. She _knew_. As dawn approached closer, Conan could feel the fever rising and he sat down on the sofa. He was very, very cold, but Conan knew how far he could push himself without wanting to admit death to himself.

He was already feeling feverish, and cold beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. Silently, Conan stood up and stumbled over to where the mirror was. He gazed at himself, determinedly telling himself that this would be the last time he would be stuck in this body. Regardless to what Haibara had said, Conan would never admit to himself that her invention had failed, and would leave him with the truth, in a child's body.

Conan reached into his pocket, withdrew the container with the single pill inside. He looked at the pill between his fingers, allowing the container to drop with a clatter.

Conan swallowed.

"Conan-kun!" Ran's voice was alarmed, right after Conan felt the first pain in his body that he had felt so many times before. His voice had escaped him when that had happened, and Ran rushed to the young boy's side. "Conan-kun!"

He felt himself lifted from the floor, in Ran's arms. How simple she could pick him up like that. Conan tried to breathe evenly as Ran reached for the phone to either call a doctor or an ambulance – he wasn't sure.

Quickly, Conan grabbed her arm. "Don't," he said, just as another spasm of pain jolted through his body.

"Conan-kun, your fever is too high," Ran said worriedly.

"…But… you want Shinichi to come back, right?" Conan asked tiredly.

Ran's face changed. She put the phone down and bit her lips, then turning to take him to her room. There, he let the boy rest on the bed; pain, fear, concern, tears – all showing in her eyes. "Conan…"

_"Any truth is better than indefinite doubt," _Conan reminded himself. He had faith in that cold detective of Baker Street ever since he could remember.

He could see the conflict in her eyes. He could see what she was thinking, how she knew that the pain would equal to transformation. But she saw the feeling of emotion, the helplessness, of not being able to help. _I'm not Holmes… I'm Shinichi Kudo. And I'll always be. I am not blind… to the feelings around me…_ Conan thought. His breathing became heavier, and another jolt of pain came through him, stronger than the rest.

He could barely register his own voice admist the pain he felt.

"I'm calling the doctor," Ran said, but Conan reached out quicker than she was trying to escape.

He grabbed her hand. "No! Let me come back… as Shinichi…" he whispered, his voice fading as the last pain went through him. He didn't even have the strength to shout out anymore. All strength he had left was with the little hand that grasped Ran's hand tightly…

Because his life depended on it.

* * *

"Kudo?"

"…Hattori?"

Shinichi blinked his eyes open and saw the familiar face staring back at him. He was aware of a breathing mask covering his face, but the room seemed too strange to be a hospital. Books lined the walls on a single bookshelf, and the room wasn't as white as it should be. The floors… the walls… the ceiling.

He was in his own house.

Shinichi struggled to sit up and the other helped him steady. "What happened?" Shinichi asked. "Las thing I remembered was being with Ran… I was still Conan."

"Kazuha and I happen to arrive at the detective agency. We were planning to head back to Osaka… when we found you."

"Ran…?"

"She couldn't hide the truth from Kazuha, but that's about all. We took you down to Agasa's, and then decided to put you here. Partly because of the media," Heiji grinned. "You were unconscious for a few days, because of the fever. That girl Haibara won't let anyone give you any medicine. Said that taking them would kill you."

Shinichi sighed. The explanation was brief, but he could easily figure out the rest. "Where is Ran?"

"Outside. Ever since we came, she hasn't been near you… She's waiting."

Shinichi fell silent.

"Aw, c'mon, don't tell me you're _scared_," Heiji teased him. "_Someone_ has to tell her that you lo-"

Shinichi's face turned cherry red, but this time, he couldn't deny it. He was done denying things from Ran.

Denying the truth.

"Can you ask her to come in?" he asked, interrupting him.

Heiji stood and laughed. "Of course. I'll leave you two to…" He winked.

Shinichi narrowed his eyes, finding his enthusiasm rather tiring. But he watched as Heiji exited the room, and it only took two minutes later for Ran to enter. Confusion clouded her eyes, and she sat down next to him. "You're awake. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes," Shinichi answered. "Listen, Ran –"

"You don't need to tell me," she cut him off. No doubt, she had been waiting for this moment to come for a long time now. "Somehow… I've always known. How could someone be so similar to you, after all? The way you talk, the way you look. I think I kinda… always knew that it was you." Tears fell from her cheeks. "I don't know why I didn't just ask you to come out and say it, but I knew that you're Shinichi. You'd have a reason… so I waited…"

"Ran…"

"Can you just… just tell me why? So I know that waiting was the right thing to do?"

Shinichi's eyes softened. "I wanted to protect you, Ran. I wanted to make sure you're not hurt. Even if the odds are against us, there's always that small grain of hope that promises me that you'll never suffer. Ran… I'm sorry."

Ran wiped her eyes with her hand, feeling the sadness and relief rake her body. She had been waiting for this for so long… Why was it so painful? The truth was out, and she was already tired. But… no more. Their lives could go on as usual, right? She would get her childhood friend again, right?

Ran opened her mouth to ask, but before she could, a warm set of lips touched hers, silencing her entirely.

And Ran had her answer: Yes, yes she could. And she would gain more.

**

* * *

A/N:** _Written right on the spot, this one. Just the scene we've been waiting for, all this time, now written… by me anyway. Sorry if there are OOC-ness, but I tried my best, and please drop a review behind, I'd love that so much. I might come to revise this and improve the quality, but for now, I hope you enjoyed it! Rino-chan._


End file.
